Stay Tuned

To everyone that has even remotely cared enough to check on my blog spot I havent been writing much lately because I have been gathering my thoughts and beginning in the New Year I am going to try to blog weekly so please stay tuned...Just have to make sure I have something interesting to talk about each week to hold peoples interests, shoot if you have any ideas please feel free to throw some at me, I may do like a weekly wrap up of things that I enjoy the most (music, movies, sports...etc) and then add in some of my own personal thoughts that need to be vented out or discussed in the blog. But as I said everyone please stay tuned...thanks, have a happy new year

My Heart Thanks You All

"As the sky opens up to receive her, our hearts are with her, she will forever be in our hearts as we celebrate her life, the Angels have embraced her & her family."

I wanted to take some time out to thank any and everyone that showed me love over the course of the last week of my life with the passing of my grandmother. It's amazing how people that are busy with their own lives, some are miles and miles away, have never seen me face to face, some have never even heard my voice took time out to show so much compassion and sent their love, energy and support to me and my family in our time of mourning. It may only be 140 characters in a tweet, a Facebook message, a text or a phone call but I swear to you each and every one of you helped me...along with the undying support from my wife. I hadnt seen my grandmother in a few years so I was dealing with guilt from us not being in close contact once she moved to North Carolina, guilt from her knowing she had great-grandchildren but never having a chance to see them and guilt from hoping that she knew that her baby boy (which is what she would call me sometimes) loved her so very much. It was a unique relationship I had with my grandmother as she was the realest person I have ever known, she was blunt, harsh, foul mouthed, direct and didnt take no shit from no one...but on the flipside she was a beautiful woman who would do anything under the sun for those that she loved. I told my wife this story about how one time when I was a little kid my dad dropped me off over at her house and they were fighting about something and she comes to the door like she always would when I came over and says "You can keep your motherfucking ass in the car no need to get your ass out I just want my grandson" to my father and my dad was tight, he probably wont remember that but I always will cause it was funny and he knew she was mad even before we pulled up. Anyways I say that in regards to the unique relationship I shared with my Grandma and our bond was very special to me, thus at the funeral I realized that I need to do more to keep the structure of my family close, limit some of the distances that time has created between my loved ones, so in the pic above you see me hugging her 2 daughters (my Aunt Rita & Aunt Tonya) my baby cousins (Shanise & James) and her husband (Grandpa Irving) to show that in her going home we are are going to do more to stay close, and in my arms wasnt just my love but I was representing for my father who is locked up & couldnt be there (I will always carry the weight of the world for my Pops for as long as he needs me too) my baby brother Q (couldnt be at the funeral but he was there through me) and my stepsisters/mother (Jolanda, Jennifer & Carol) and any other family member that couldnt attend because thats what my Grandma would have wanted...I love you Grandma (R.I.P.) and I will miss you dearly but there are some great people (angels) left here to look after your baby boy & below I will thank each one of them:

(Twitter)

@Mo_Rease...@treasurecarelli...@mylifeasbreezy...@TearlessPoet...@amy_blueyez...@MrLoveerMan925...@JAM05028

@Shaa_Nichole...@millertime773...@EvilOne215...@Larion...@BrandonDaHater...@mehart9791...@iiKnOwRiiGhT

@RaTHeR_Un1QuE...@Chiefen_B...@JustinTwiterLan...@Aftashok...@RandomRon...@DontBeASkeptik...@NitaMichelle

@ImToBlame...@mickey_bish...@GameShifta...@hdavisiii...@STLScorpio31...@QDeezy1906...@thejournalist44...@MaryTessa

@Gee537...@mrtj822...@SweetSecrecy...@LevnUMesmerized...@TheRealWavy...@CandieDimples...@IAMBNC...@BLU_315

@BASIKARMA...@Kacizzle88...@Miss_D5...@jwolf23...@JamesFVegas...@peekachoo420...@LATISHA0510...@GoodGem1000

@neisha429...@tinie812...@IsleDeFleur...@Hollywood_Trey...@MISS_OTTAWA2008...@Ooniepix...@Carmel_Thunder

@evesdatgirl...@nShAiOwNWorLd...@JaynLBC...@ElPreziDiLL...@AliiB00...@iameddrick...@PearlMM...@LatinChicaHeart

@MsNique619...@iAmDaYzIE...@BenJoBubble...@Amaury_Polanco...@IamEjPrince...@ShawnieceQB...@sexychi

@MzLongLeggz...@1Ltink_tink...@Shawndelly...@PerfectEnigma...@Marily2500...@qianabb...@HotSexyBiscuits

@QueenPenelope...@mario4rory...@SNEAKNLA...@MzDimples03...@daheavyhitter...@ShandaTV...@Twan_Who

@tiffeetiff...@Princesscutz...@jackiechanel09...@EbonyVixen

(Facebook)

Kim, Kas, Danni, Sophia, Big Mike (Hass), Traci, Jeff, John, Tina, Phil, Ant (Infamy), Garron (HB), Joann, Adrianna, Jason, Keren

SPECIAL THANKS to my wife Key, baby you have been instrumental in everything you have done and been to me this past week and I feel so blessed to have such amazing support from my partner, i love you babe!!!

"tell my friends, each one, they taught me how to be one, i owe to them part of everything that i've become" - Joe Budden

My 31st & the next 10 years of MY LIFE

"Ive got some issues that nobody can see and all of these emotions are pouring out of me"

This blog is inspired by the moment that I am at in my life, and that moment is my 31st birthday (today November 5th, 2009) and the Kid Cudi song above kind of describes some of the ways I feel, not all because Cudi was saying some stuff that doesnt directly relate to me. I have been in deep thought for the past 2 weeks or so leading up to today because I started to look at myself and I wasn't totally happy with what I was seeing. I started to see my shortcomings, my fears, my insecurities, etc and I realized that I hadn't allowed myself enough time to deal with my own issues...allow me to elaborate. I like to look at my life in 10 year increments beginning at the age of 1 so the past 10 years have been from the age of 21 to 31 and when I looked into the mirror the person looking back was not the person I expected to still be at this stage of my life. The past 10 years have been filled with a mixture of pleasure and pain...5 years of pain (time before my wife) and then 5 years of pleasure (time since I met my wife).

Those 1st 5 years were filled with many personal failures in love and in my life, suicidal thoughts, empty/broken promises, mistreatment of those that only wanted the best for me, all coming to a head when my father was sentenced to life in prison for being a habitual felon. In his absence I had to assume the role & position that he held in the family thus putting my own life on the back burner to aid in the development of my family. I had to move from being a big brother and a son to a Father and a stand in Husband for my stepmother and it was tough and in some regards I am still dealing with this. I went through a breakup, moved from NJ to Atlanta pretty much by myself aside from my few family members in Atl, dealt with being unemployed for a couple years and then only finding work stocking shelves at Target for about $7 an hour.

Then I landed a job with the IRS and moved back to NJ, met my wife and things began to go the right way. She and I hit it off great as most of you know due to the fact that we are still going so strong, but we unexpectedly had our 1st child Shania, and then a year and a half later my son was on the way. So that again shifted the attention from myself to those I love, putting myself on the backburner again but this time for the right reasons because I love my babies & my wife with all my heart. They have brought me nothing but joy but the problem is I never had a chance to properly dead the first 5 years of my last 10 years or allowed myself to deal with my own internal issues over the last 5 years because I had to focus my energies into being a father & a husband. These things lead to my past 2 weeks of thinking and beginning to realize I dont like who I am. I never gave myself the room to deal with my own personal issues and problems because I have been doing all I can to make sure those around me, those I care about, and in some instances those I don't even know feel better about their own lives, part of the reason why I call myself Neo and if you saw the Matrix movies this part is self explanatory.

So I took a long look in the mirror and I just didnt like the reflection, I didnt like who I was inside, not the person everyone else can see because in the eyes of others I am a beautiful person but looking at myself through my own eyes all I saw was disappointment and something had to be done. I began to look in depth at what I have become and who I am and I realized I am caught in between being the old me and the new me (or the person I am supposed to be at this stage of my life). The issues that I have had I havent been able to express and share so I decided to speak to the Lord and I said that I have to break the mirror on the old me and start to look forward to the new me and embrace it, thus the quote I wrote on Twitter earlier today (extra words added in that couldn't fit into 140 characters):

"I looked in my mirror & didn't like the one staring back at me, so I closed my eyes, broke the mirror & began to look forward to a better me"

And in this quote I am simply saying that I am closing the door to who I once was and accepting who I have become, the path that life has lead me to and I am looking forward to who I will be now thus beginning the 1st steps in my next 10 years of life. My journey has been a long one filled with things no one has or ever will know about, pieces of my past that I am not proud of, parts of my present that I wish I could eliminate from my memory...but my future holds so many bright things and thats what I am going to focus on. I dealt with my own internal struggles on my own, I cried, I hurt, I hit rock bottom emotionally to the point where I didnt care about some things, I lectured myself, but I handled those things and I am not looking back. The old me died when that mirror broke and he will not return, he was ugly in nature, no not all entirely his fault but he made many decisions that played a part in who he was, yet he was also watched over and didn't suffer too bad through bad decisions. He was hurting yet you never knew about it, he was crying & screaming for help yet you didn't hear him because he didnt want you to......so he did it all alone trapped in his own pain & darkness, he was failing while you thought he was winning, he wasn't always who the picture portrayed because many saw strength but hidden deep within the paint was weakness and frailty. But I have accepted these things and am ready to move on, and this blog was merely my chance to open up, my chance to be weak, my chance to cry & expose myself to show that yes even Neo has weaknesses, yes even Neo can't always save the day, but mainly that yes Neo aka Dwight James Allen is human....

The "Groupie" Game

Everyone knows how I feel already about the groupie so I just wanted to have a breakdown that I found on www.allhiphop.com in regards to all the "groupie" like attention and tendencies of The Lame (no longer will I call him by his stage name). I don't see how heads can really rock with a cat that was on a bootleg dating show and exposed as being fradulent even as an actor...also how can you listen to an album of someone stating how "REAL" they are when they were an actor on TV prior to their record deal. I will say this if he was acting he is really wack and represents everything that is wrong with hip hop at the current time and if he wasn't acting then he is just as wack for being on there and exposing himself as a sucka, either way a nigga with a butterfly on his cheek is trash. I liked him, brought all 3 albums, and gave him a pass on numerous occasions when he showed his "groupie" & "bipolar" tendencies but those days are over now that he wants to bring it to Jay over a frivilous beef that was made cause he is a groupie. If someone says "im not talking to you" then HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK is that dissing you??? Sounds like you just wanted some attention for your boo boo ass mixtape you just happened to recently release or for that wack ass album you got coming out which will just talk about your usual bullshit...impalas, 64's, Reasonable Doubt, The Chronic, Detox, Dr. Dre, Aftermath chain, Eazy E, NWA, various lines about the likes of Kanye, Nas, Ice Cube, piru, 50 Cent, G-unit, the 300 bars song, and other corny typical shit expressed between the lines on your paper. So in all of that I say this I gave him chance after chance after chance to be a consistent rapper not a wack ass battle rapper whose only claim to fame is a battle with G-Unit...because take that away and the songs that 50 gave him and you are left with 2 possibly good tracks...nothing more nothing less, and you can argue with me till you are blue (or red) in the face about this but it's going to fall on deaf ears and believe me i dont just speak without having legs to stand on so make sure if you want to challenge me on this you have legs to support your theories as well, thank you and now to the list of "groupie" lines I spoke about earlier, after you read these 70+ lines you tell me if the "GROUPIE" tag is deserved if not I will retract all my statements in regards to this Lame:

1. "No beef with Jay" - "One Blood"

2. "Got a hook from Faith, no verse from Jay I guess on Westside Story he thought I spit in his face" - "Westside Story"

3. "Dre told me he ain't doin "Detox," this his only run Ma$e comin back, and Hovi done" - "No more fun and games"

4 "It's Me & My Girlfriend like 2Pac and them Jay-Z and Beyonce, or Bobby and Whitney - "Special"

5. "Rap critics politickin, wanna know the outcome Ready to Die Reasonable Doubt and Doggystyle in one - "Dreams"

6. "Make the club R.O.C. without Timberland boots - "Higher"

7."I was gassed up, Murder Inc., Roc-A-Fella passed up"

8. "It took me a little while but I am now understandin Jay ****ed up in the first round when he picked olowankandi" "Memp Bleek Iz"

9. "Oh, that boy colder than Hova unless he sober" - "300 Bars"

10. "And ain't nobody tryin to take Beyonce from Jay But I know a ***** named Superhead he ****ed back in the day" - Wouldnt Get Far"

11."Took you to award shows, there go Jay right there" - "One Night"

12."Bangin "The Black Album," track #1 she like that Jay ****, that's her favorite'' - "Around The World"

13. "Behind the back to Nas he alley oop to Jigga" - "Why U hate The Game"

14. "Niqqas show me love in the hood like i was HOV down Flushing" - "State Yo Name"

15. "The day Jay retire I'ma park next to the throne, in a Maybach on gold wires, yeah - "Hands On The Pump"

16. "Cuz he know Jay-Z departed And these other rap labels know don't feed they artists Talkin blueprint **** you got three garages

Gettin money off Roc like little E and carter"

17. "And 2Pac was in jail the day you called to hit him up I wouldn't be outside 40/40 bumpin 'Jigga What'"

18."I'm the king, and you better respect it All I need is Beyonce, and a Roc-a-fella necklace"

19. "I'm the golden boy, and I'm making Hova noise Got the whole world clapping, just like the Nolia Boys"

20. "I told 'em bomp, slow down baby Got to get this **** firm like Foxy, NaS and AZ She said '**** you,pay me

So I left her in AZ That's what I get for letting her listen to my Jay-Z"

21. "*****, I'm number one, motherfukka bar none Who else kick knowlegde outside of Hova and the God Son"

22. "U gon make me/ make Jay lose his cool" - "Feel It In The Air"

23. "Too much West coast dikc lickn, remember Jay-Z? - "1-800-Homicide"

24. "No Em, no Dre, I'm the hottest since Jay" - "Get Up"

25. "Cause I'm the man behind the Roc like Kanye West"

26."A pimp like 50, the niqqa to leave you broke ma 6 in the mornin, you stretchin on the sofa singin ain't no niqqa like Foxy Brown and Hova" - "Compton to Fillmoe"

27. "I'm runnin the ROC, not Jay, Dame Dash of Hoffa" - "Jackin 4 Beats"

28. "Who the fuk holdin me? i was just waitin 'til HOVA leave wit my eyes on the thrown that belong to me" "Round Here Freestyle"

29. "yeah its me and young cass til hov come back" "Aim Ya Gunz"

30. "Throw Jay-z in the pot, mix em with ren or O.J on the rocks, mix em with gin whatchu got? the westcoast riding again" "82 Days"

31. "i found out it was a hard knock life without asking Jay" "Duck Down"

32. "Fake king of new york, U aint Jay z" "soundscan"

33. "Me, Em and 50 racin' this rap siht is basic I followed that Jay siht" "We Aint"

34. "The kings comin', no I'm not Jay-Z" "One Blood Remix"

35. "Not the rap martyr, or the second rap Carter" "for My gangstaz"

36. "niqqa I'm about a dollar, what the fuk is 50 Cent? When Jay said it, I didn't know what it meant" "100 Bars"

37. "used to push that rock like Jay Hov" "Red Bandana"

38. "then this marcy-project niqqa came and stole the crown" "Im a soldier"

39. "But Kanye and Hova killed it without a doubt" "Just a lil Bit freestyle"

40. "Who had the hottest chick in the game, wearin they chain Mr. H to the Izzo, Nas and Hurricane" "too Much"

41. " cuz ain't nobody movin units but Jay, pimp Juice and Us" - Down 4 my *****s freestyle

43. "I used to have visions of retiring like Jigga" "Du Rags

44. "He in a vest with a hoodrat from Marcy with a tattoo of Jay-Z name on her chest" "Its So Hard"

45. "Im classic like Detox & Blueprint 2" "Get Yo Money"

46."Yall thought it was over when Hova retired" "Get Yo Money"

47. "Make the world feel like the niqqas before 2pac Shakur Christopher Wallace & Shawn Corey" "Dont Push Me..."

48. "... He aint teach Jigga how to rhyme" "Juice freestyle"

49. "Im going to same place Jay-z went Fredrico & Pico" "100 Bars"

50. "Hov retired but Compton still pushin Roc" "On & On"

51. "I came to see chicks shake they ass like Beyonce so let me be Hov 4 a min."

52. "All I gotta do is hit her wit a Jay-Z line like u deserve to be my sunshine"

53. "Biggie Smalls is the illest so is pac Jay retired i wonder if nas gon drop" "Unbeliveable freestyle"

54. "i kno they sayin y u gotta mention Jay" "State Yo Name"

55. "First Jay & Beyonce then Nas & Kelis" "A Week Ago Part 2"

56."u 36 And U Still Rappin Uhh, Im 26 And Homie So Iz Da Dubz" "one Blood"

57."So I reconciled my differences like he did with Jigga" Game on 'Hustlers'

58. "Im ready to die Without a reasonable doubt" "The Documentary"

59. "In '99 i studied +The Chronic+ inside out, a Doggystyle for breakfast, lunch was Reasonable Doubt " "im A Soldier freestyle"

60. "Shouldnt been influenced by Calvin Broadus, Nasir Jones & Shawn Corey" "Pain In My Life Remix"

61. Yo Jay what it do niqqa, i done rocked enough fellas,to be u niqqa,i got the 40/40,they my 2 jigga's"

62. The word n!gger, is nothing like ***** Don't sound **** alike, like Game like Jigga

63."I was more hood then suge, had more rocs then Jay more scars on my face then the original scarface, or the homeboy scarface."

64. "i need more than 60 seconds i aint Hov" - Hot 2Nite (Remix)

65."Moved out the hood, changed her name to Jay"

66. "He ain't Nas, ain't B.I.G., ain't Jigga" 300 bars

67. ""Pushing the rock, nah this ain't no subliminal Jay The summer too hot, and I want the winter to stay" Dear Summer

68.""I'm fly like a Hummingbird on a tree top The new Hov, the new B.I.G., the new 'Pac, I need three spots"

69. ""Ask a Jay-Z fan about Big Daddy Kane, don't know em, Game gon show em" - Games Pain

70. ""She call me Jay I call her B we getting married to the streets" - Camera Phone

71. ""The kings coming, no i'm not Jay-z/ too many *****s hate me, but they scared to face me" 1 blood remix

72. "So I reconciled my differences like he did with Jigga" Make The World Go Round

73. ""I hear the crowd callin my name Game, Game but i'm not one so don't try to play me and this goes from Gucci Mane to Jay-Z" - Laugh

74."hip hop is soft since the Roc-A-Fella break up/and i don't do subliminals I just pick Jay up" - Walk in the streets

75."I'm that six figga *****/who got the word from KRS-One and stole the Blueprint from Jigga" - Feels Good

76."They say at Summer Jam i turned it out/but Kanye and Hova killed it without a doubt" - Just a lil bit (G-Unit Diss)

77.""We on that same elevator goin down, Dodger fitted got that Hova lean so they don't notice me" - Down & Out (mixtape version)"

I gave you food for thought...now you do the dishes!!!

My Top 10 Jay-Z Songs

This post is for my boy @ErOneH8zDerek from Twitter, he and I were talking a little over a week ago about listing our top 10 Hov songs and I swear this shit took me forever. I was saying to myself this nigga Derek gonna kick my ass if I dont finish this but it is hard being that I am a huge fan of Hov's and there aren't many of his songs that i DON'T like. The hardest 2 parts of this have been getting down to the final 10 (started with 50) and then trying to have solid explanations as to why I like these particular 10 and that part is still a work in progress but I at least wanted to post em for now. A few of them I will have explanations for right off the back but others I will have to come back to the blog to update so here goes D:

(in no particular order)

Blueprint 2 - Probably the song I could say is my favorite Jigga song for a few reasons ranging from the production to the lyrical content. Jay went in on this one & rode the beat about as effectively as I have ever heard him do it. Everyone always wants to pull Ether out their ass but that whole song compared to Hov's whole 2nd verse on this one pretty much makes that so called loss by Jay more of a wash (tie).

What More Can I Say - All I am going to say is the end of this song was the defning moment of not only the song but of the entire Black Album..."i'm supposed to be number 1 on everybody's list, lets see what happens when I no longer exist (man fuck this)" *throws down or pushes the mic away*.....come on that ending alone makes this song the banger that it is along with the way he just spazzed on it

22 Two's - Great conept song, actually to me one of the best concept songs to date, I still remember back in 96 when I 1st got Reasonable Doubt and I sat in my room with a notebook & counted each one of the Two's (To's, Too's) and that always blew me away how he managed to make the song and fit all of the Two's in & still have the meaning in the song be executed so well..."TOO many bitches wanna be ladies so if you a hoe imma call you a hoe TOO many bitches is shady, TOO many women give these niggas TOO many chances, TOO many brothers wanna be lovers & dont know what romance is" (come on yall dont ever say the boy Hov aint the truth)

D.O.A. (Death Of Autotune) - I have a whole blog about the reason why I love this song so much but let me tell yall why one more time, BECAUSE IT IS A DEFINING MOMENT FOR HIP HOP, if you dont understand what I mean check my previous blog post about it. Another reason why this song is so crazy is the music or production, the drums are amazing and the instruments used were so effective in giving the song a very vintage sound, very old school hip hop...& again his lyrical content was 2nd to none, people are so focused on just the Autotune death he was calling for but there were many other topics nailed by Hov such as the wack clothes, fake tough cats, etc. Great song & even more amazing video

Friend or Foe (Parts 1 & 2) - No matter how many times I hear these songs which to me are just one big song with a different beat, I never tire of them. This is a great visual picture painted through words "shot it in the air one woke him, son soaking sweatin in his bed like dunn loccin thinking to himself what done provoked him"................................"boy you don know who you fuckin wit...a gun in your face and thats all you can come up with" Jay was at his best and when you watch him & Dame execute this song on the Streets Is Watching DVD its just fits properly.

Dead Presidents - I liked Hov a lot from the song with Original Flava "Can I Get Open" to the 1st version of "In My Lifetime" when he was just that "skinny nigga on the boat" and all the way to "Cant Knock The Hustle" but this joint right here was the one when I knew and said to myself this dude is going to make it big because "Dead Presidents" is Jay-Z at his best, the zone he was in for this song is undeniable from start to finish "while others spit that wonderama shit me and my conglomerate shall remain anonymous caught up in the finest shit, live out my dreams until my heart give out involved with cream you know exactly what this shit's about, fuck y'all mean handlin' since a teen I dish out like the point guard off your favorite team without doubt" - From Dead Presidents (the original version) i am not even going to say anything else than that.

Meet The Parents - This was a very very good concept song because I swear when I got to the end of this joint Hov really had me thinking something serious, I was touched by this joint because I grew up in the streets & I always think along those lines like those same cats that dont tend 2 their sons wouldnt even know them if they ran into them 18 years later. This was just a real song especially this part, this is what did it for me "He can't explain what he saw before his picture went blank the old man didn't think he just followed his instinct six shots into his kid out of the gun niggaz be a father you're killin your son, six shots into his kid, out of the gun niggaz be a father, you killin your sons"

Imaginary Player - Jay at his best on that brag & showoff shit, he stunted on niggas so bad on this track that Range Rover lost money on the 4.0's lol ("whats the difference between a 4.o and a 4.6 about 30 to 40 grand cocksucker BEAT IT") thats when I knew this dude carried heavy weight in the game. This would probably have 2 be my 2nd favorite Hov song of all time just because it made me appreciate the nature of his arrogance, he made that shit cool. A few classic lines were "i got nine hundred and ninety six plus 4 mo dough"......"when I see em in the street I dont see none of that damn playboy where the fuck is the Hummer at, where's all the ice with all the platinum under that, those ain't Rolex diamonds what the fuck you done to that"

Lucky Me - When i was going through a rough time with finding my identity in life this was one of those songs that made me, well helped me to realize that people aren't always going to like or understand me, people aren't always going to look at me the way I look at myself thus why I love the chorus so much "you only know what you see but you dont understand what it takes to be me" I mean this song touched me on a more personal level than most songs have ever done because I just felt like if I could rap these would be the same words I would be spitting over a beat, "how can you fairly assess something from the outside looking in, majority of the time you'll be wrong"

Ride Or Die - This was always an ill song to me because it has a sick beat and Jay flowed perfectly on it, and if you listen to the wordplay of the song you can & will appreciate it just as much as I do because he brought the A-game out, peep...."i'm platinum a million times nigga check the credits, S. Carter...ghostwriter...and for the right price I can even make YOUR shit tighter" come on man was that not crazy "cuz i kick that deep shit that divide your peep shit that I DONT KNOW IF YOU FUCKING WITH JIGGA SPITTIN THAT WEAK SHIT" stop playing man and cats say they dont or never like Hov, stop folling yourself and listen to the music dont just skim through it. Song like this one showcase why he is always considered amongst the greatest to ever touch a mic.

HONORABLE MENTION: Streets Is Watching, Where Im From, Jigga (from Ruff Ryders Volume 1), Dig A Hole, Lost One, Dirt Off Your Shoulder, This Can't Be Life (I agree 100% with you Derek on this one), Soon You'll Understand, Regrets (again I agree with you 100% Derek), American Dreamin, Song Cry

I am not an E-Gangsta or an iTHUG

1st off let me get something established I can't stand internet or E-gangstas and iThugs and the reason 4 this blog is because I was inspired by a story I read as well as some of the things I see people do & say on such places as Twitter or JBTV (Joe Budden TV). If you hide behind a keyboard and talk shit you are straight corny & a fucking sucker. Most people that fall in this category had no friends in high school, they werent popular, probably got ridiculed on a daily basis so they come online behind the power of their keyboards and distance they may have with someone else & they take that and run with it. Behind the safety of a PC or a Macbook heads think they can just talk reckless to any and everyone they come across until they come in contact with some real mutherfuckers who are more than willing to test your credibility. I am not built like that, wasn't raised under those principles, i was born and raised in Plainfield, NJ (primarily on 6th street) no it wasn't the the toughest place to live & grow up but it damn sure wasn't the easiest either BELIEVE ME (look it up if you think im lying) I also spent many years & many summers with my father out in Newark, NJ at Seth Boyden Housing Projects off of Frelinghuysen Ave near Weequahic Park and I am not glorifying that life but this is to say that nothing I say is fabricated or false and I know where I am from and what can happen thus why I never take it there online. I've seen people shot, been shot at just because I was standing with someone that was involved in a beef so I am all about real life shit not imaginary thug shit. People think cause they listen to a few Pac albums or cause they own a hoodie & some Timbs that they are thugs...slang doesn't make you a gangsta, talking loud doesnt make you a gangsta or tough. Im not a thug but I was raised in an environment where if you talk shit a nigga gonna approach you on it face to face on some shit when you gotta prove your knuckle game is nice or you have 2 pull that piece out from the waistband but either way your shit was gonna get tested. I am about nothing but positivity on Twitter & in my regular day to day life but I am not about the bullshit so please tread a fine line when speaking 2 me with any type of aggression or any degrading comments. I am that way because I have to be, because I know what can happen if I allow myself to lose control of a situation and revert back to what I knew & saw practiced in & around me growing up. Keep in mind yall im not talking or acting "tough" nor am I speaking for anyone else i am just tellin you how I am, I am not the internet gangsta I will not argue with you over no silly shit and if I feel disrespected and things need to be handled there isn't a word I could type to truly express what or how I feel but I will at that point extend an olive branch to you for a face to face chat to discuss whatever issue it is that you may have. Some call it crazy I call it normal, because taken out of my comfort zone (which is positivity) i must become whatever it is that you are turning me into. So again I stress be very careful on the things you say to not only myself but to the array of people online because you have no idea what someone is capable of, addresses can be looked up easily with the click of a button online, people can find out where you work, where your mother shops, kids go to school at so be careful before you go out there trying to be a "thug" because one day you may come across a real one and you will be the next lead story on the local news because it's all fun & games till someone is at your door with something shiny pointed in your face. So let's keep it positive and if you can't just don't say nothing, and please don't pull me out of my positive zone because as I stated I don't handle beef with a keyboard or on an iPhone (bad boys move in silence...and with black gloves), thank you.

And always remember what Mos Def said in that "What's Beef" song: "Beef is when a gangsta aint doing it right and other gangstas done decided what to do with his life"

Defining Moment in Hip Hop

I go in a lot of times when it comes to music because I view music as a personal passion of mine. No I am not a rapper, dj, producer, hype man, promoter, or any of the above I just have a ear for good music always have and I always will...some have even gone as far as to say its a gift of mine but that's not to say everyone will agree with my musical tastes but if you know me you know I don't expect everyone to agree with me at all times. The reason for this blog is because of the new Jay-Z song D.O.A. (Death Of Autotune), now before any clicks the X button like "damn not someone else talking about that song" just bear with me because that's not what this is about, it's just the springboard. Aside from really liking the song & the over all direction that Hov took it musically the song has a bigger impact than just that. Hip hop has always had what I like to call "Defining Moments" and Jay-Z has been a part of many of them in his own right (Beef with Nas, truce with Nas, Hard Knock Life tour, selling out the Garden etc) and this one is no different. Think about it for a second when was the last time everyone got hype with something pertaining to hip-hop in this manner, blowing up blog sites, people fighting and having E-arguments over it, that means musically it had an impact and whether you like it or not that is what it was supposed to do. It's not the lead single (that's going to be a song with Drake so they say which again is another smart move by Hov), its not even radio friendly its a wake up, similar to Lawrence Fishburn yelling at the end of the movie "School Dayz" WAAAAAAKE UUUUUPPP!!! Music got stale and stagnant and whether you like it or not Jay kicked it up a notch, like for instance how many rappers do you think are out there right now writing bars over that beat (shit some of you reading this are probably in the lab cooking up some crack lol) and then there are going to be songs with guys saying death to this and death to that (like skinny jeans, dyed hair on a man, skulls & all that bullshit)...all kinds of silly shit, and why because Jay-Z voiced his opinion about something which is what hip hop is supposed to be, an art form of expression. I can hear it now, someone is going to make a song saying "Death To Jay-Z' or old rappers or something like that because that's what people who aren't creative do, they complain about something then copy it in one fell swoop. Hip hop is a flooded market I mean you can't turn anywhere without someone passing a demo at you, without going on YouTube and seeing someone standing out in front of a store spitting off the top but that is a gift and a curse. As a lover of music I love hearing good music, I have heard my share of it from things friends of mine in my day to day life let me hear to various tracks from some of my dudes on Twitter (such as @DontBeASkeptik & @MAS_LO) but I have also heard my share of garbage too. The purpose of the song was to say its too much and that's how I feel about a lot of stuff its just too much, the coonery, fuckery, or whatever kind of "ery" you want to apply. Hip hop as a whole needed this song as a defining moment because we were being let down time & time again by the likes of such songs as "Do The Ricky Bobby" or "Halle Berry" and we needed some real music not all this dance flick bullshit I see with the singles coming out (Stanky Leg or Swag Sufring). Call him old, or whatever you want but Jay is solid ALWAYS & music is supposed to be timeless but only those that create good music will understand that one. Could any other rapper right now shit could any of you have released a song on Friday then performed it on Sunday with the crowd knowing all the lyrics...I highly doubt it, could any of you be able to stand in the face of hate and constant ridicule for being the top dog in the game but never waver from who you are or what you represent (also applies to my boy Kobe Bryant who is about to shut all you "he can't do it without Shaq" haters the fuck up)...see that's the part that hip hop is missing the most that "YOU" element. Stop telling me who you want to be, tell me who you are...don't be like the next man be your own man. Hip Hop used to stand for something it used to live with defining moments throughout the 80's and the 90's but now they are almost nonexistent i mean what do we rely on now as a defining moment "Balling" or "Turn My Swag On"...*SMH*. Here are some things I consider defining moments in hip hop over the past few years...Nas/Jay-Z truce at the 'I Declare War" concert, Kanye West releasing 808's & Heartbreaks knowing the backlash he would receive (great album to me personally), Lil Wayne selling 1 mill in the 1st week (tainted to me by the fact that he pays ghostwriters), Nas's "Untitled" or "NIGGER" album, there are a few others but I've talked long enough. I say all that to say this hip hop & true fans of hip hop needed D.O.A. whether you agree with me or not, don't believe me look around on the web, look at the stir it has caused both positive & negative, look at the angry rappers all tight cuz now they will be afraid to go in the studio and use it in fear they shit may not sell & look at the happy rappers & DJ's that have been tired of it as well. One man has enough power with his voice to cause all of this & that's why I say D.O.A. is a "MOMENT" not a "RECORD"....do you think people would have cared if Jim Jones (who I will annihilate in my next blog) or Soulja Boy would have made a song like that....in the words of my favorite rapper from the beginning of the "Change Clothes" video...."NOPE"

"I wake up HIP HOP got to sleep HIP HOP dream about HIP HOP cause I am HIP HOP" - Joell Ortiz

King's Lack Of Sportsmanship

This is why the whole issue of him not shaking hands was not right, because there is a thing called sportsmanship...this is the same guy that dances and shit with his teammates when they blow people out, the same guy that is on the sidelines laughing and making faces when opposing players get dunked on and etc. NO PASS for this, stop making feeble excuses. Funny shit is people always want to call Kobe an asshole but after Kobe & the Lakers got wrecked last year in the Finals & what did Kobe do...hug Doc Rivers, Pierce, Garnett, stayed around and let confetti & shit fall on his face so he could say good game, he stood at the press conference clearly upset but he did it, he faced it. Lebron should be mad at the 4 points in the 4th quarter that he scored...speaking of which here is his quote:

"It's hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them," he said. "I'm a winner. It's not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you're not going to congratulate them. That doesn't make sense to me. I'm a competitor. That's what I do. It doesn't make sense for me to go over and shake somebody's hand."

There is a difference in being a competitor and being a poor sport, clearly he is the latter...

This whole Lebron thing will blow over of course & even myself who is being super critical right now will forgive him for it just as I have done others BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Be a man Lebron admit defeat, your team was outplayed, out coached, out worked, out hustled, and any other OUT you can think of. He is a great player, PHENOMENAL player but I cant condone that behavior no matter how upset he was, if my son did that I would have got in his ass (PAUSE) because thats not how you do it...sure athletes are not role models but is that the image you want to portray to all these kids that watch your every move, i guess its only good for them 2 see you clowning on the sidelines during a blowout but not when you have to show characteristics of being a man & a stand up dude. I am critical of many things & he has been no exception throughout these playoffs if any of you remember some of my tweets on Twitter but I always have good reason & because I dont see things like many of you do, im not caught in the Matrix aka the media system of being told whats good & whats not. He was wrong dont take up for him, you call Kobe an asshole, say he is arrogant, & selfish well Lebron's actions from saturday night are just that...Selfish & Arrogant. I play Madden & firmly believe I am a good player & one of the best of anybody I have played but if I lose I will congratulate the other man, I will say good game but imma get you next time, not throw my controller down storm out the house and pull off in my car, that would make me look like a baby. This just shows me Lebron has a little bitchassness in him and he needs to fix that...say what you want about Kobe but I have that memory of last year etched into my head from when the Lakers lost to the Celtics & that Kobe was on the sideline, stone faced, but he went and congratulated each and every one of the Celtics down to the equipment guy...he let confetti & streamers fall all over & around him...he went to the press conference and faced the media with an angry yet determined look on his face, determination to not suffer defeat like that again and work to get back there next year & the proof is in the pudding as he will be playing in the Finals this week, but the one thing about all that i just said is he did all this and he ALREADY HAS 3 RINGS, he could just coast it out for the rest of his career and rack up all the numbers to be the greatest STAT in league history but he doesnt, he just keeps staying focused on winning and that Lebron "King" James (and also anyone reading this saying Kobe sucks & Lebron is the best) is the definition of a winner, of a competitor, of a champion.

I again say these are my thoughts & opinions, like em or not I dont give a fuck...told you im an asshole when it comes to sports....1

Lebron Has No Team Around Him

To anyone that says "Lebron has no team around him" he sure did have a team for them to win 66 games or whatever they won, to have the best record in the league, to have the MVP & Coach Of The Year and start the playoffs off with an 8-0 record, none of that can be accomplished without a strong TEAM unfortunately they ran into Orlando. You cant blame the other players that is such a lame excuse blame the coach for not believing in them, what kind of message do you send to your team when you let a guy bring the ball up the floor for the entire 4th quarter run the shotclock down to about 9 seconds and then let him do everything while the other 4 guys stand around, great confidence boost...lets stroke Lebron's ego while the other guys just play the random bitches on the team. You know why Phil Jackson is such a successful coach its because his teams play as teams & like Kenny Smith said "the Triangle Offense makes each guy accountable for his part". I am also getting sick of hearing "Well Kobe cant win without Shaq" that is perhaps the most idiodic comment i have ever heard, the Lakers won not Kobe, not Shaq...Shaq doesnt win it without Kobe, Horry, Fisher, etc. Shaq doesn't win in Miami if not for the great play of Dwayne Wade that year, or Haslem, Mourning, etc...Shaq never smells the Finals in Orlando if not for Penny, Anderson, & Scott and I say all of that to say Shaq is merely a component of the team. What do you say if Kobe wins the Finals this week, well Kobe has a better team around him...if you say that then that in itself contradicts your "Kobe can't win without Shaq" theory so shut the fuck up. Lebron is great and I believe eventually he will win one but its not going to be until he and the team realize you can start the race on fire blazing the path but when you get to the end of the race what do you have left, when its not as easy then what do you do...do you laugh and joke on the sidelines like all during the regular season & early part of the playoffs, do you score 4 total points in what is a do or die Game 6 or do you show why you are the best TEAM in the league? All the Cavs proved was that no matter what you do STATS & NUMBERS DONT WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS!

"Agree or don't agree but this is my opinion" - Dwight James Allen