Neo's Open Letters

PUBLIC AFFECTION (Dedicated To The Key To My Heart)

This is the 1st in a series of open letter blogs I will be writing and this is a very special one to me, dedicated to the most important person in my life. I typically type blogs about varying things from music to haters so I wanted to take a different approach for a second and dedicate a whole post to my valentine, my beautiful wife Lakiesha. I called this public affection because people use many forms to express their love in a public manner from holding hands to a loving embrace or kiss, and since I like to think I'm somewhat of a good writer I wanted to give my wife yet another way to show my appreciation for her. After this sentence the rest of this is me talking directly to her, please feel free to read on if you choose to, or even hate if that's your bag but either way this is for my queen, so here goes...

Hey baby I just wanted to write you a little something to let you know a few things in more of a public way. You know all these blogs I write, videos I post, and stuff I say on Facebook is supposed to be a direct expression of my everyday life, thoughts, and feelings so I just wanted to make sure to include the most important in all of that and shine the light on you for a bit. I just want you to know that recently I haven't been the best husband, man, and most importantly friend to you in your times of need...sometimes I forget that I have to be your friend 1st, I have to be there for you when you are weak just as fast as I am there when times are going great. I know at times I can take you for granted, at times I don't listen to what you NEED because I am too busy focused on everything else and I just want you to know that none of it is intentional. I'm sorry for any tears that I have caused, sorry for any doubts that I have created with my actions or words because you know I love you more than anything and I would never want to hurt you.

You are such an amazing wife, mother and woman in general...you take such great care of me and the kids, so much so that I even feel guilty at times like maybe I don't do enough around here. I mean you cook almost every night, you clean every day while I am at work even when you are tired and worn out from the kids. You wash and fold all the clothes, make lunch for me almost daily and have it ready for me when I drop Shania off from pre-K and then the best part is everyday that I come home you are right there sometimes even running to the door to greet me and you never fail to ask me about how my day was. I am telling you all of this because these are those small things that I think about when times get rough, when we go head up and occasionally fight, when we don't see eye to eye and these are just some of the thoughts that go through my mind and help me to remember why it is that I love you so very much.

No one said that marriage or relationships for that matter were gonna be easy but I know so long as I have you in my corner everything will work itself out at the end of the day. I am going to do more, be more, work harder, be more focused on you and your needs. You are my queen and I want you to feel like one, I don't want to lose you, I can't afford to lose you. I've made many mistakes through these years but right here you still remain and I am not going to give you any reason to regret that. I know at times I have let you down and not been everything you expected me to be, I know at times I can be the complete opposite of what people from the outside think of me since they seem to always think I am this perfect man and husband...I have been a complete jerk sometimes getting defensive and trying to turn things on you instead of just listening to your words. You have told me things and I may not have listened initially but in the end you were absolutely correct, I mean even as recent as the stuff with Twitter. I was on there and it was taking time away from you and us, I was putting energy and time into some individuals that didn't deserve it, I mean we wont go into detail but like I said when I left Twitter you were right especially about those select people that I considered friends at one point and I wasn't afraid then and I'm not afraid now to admit that you were right. But the most beautiful thing about all of that was it actually brought us closer so while some were hating on us and what we have they actually were blessings in disguise because things have been good and you seem to have that beautiful smile back. So I know this is Valentines Day and it comes but once a year but I am going to work harder to make sure that each and everyday feels like Valentines day for you my queen...I LOVE YOU KEY