Say What I Feel (A Poem By Me)

After listening to Joe Budden's new song "Downfall" I got some great inspiration to write so I decided to write a poem today because I was in a good emotional space earlier this morning and began to think about how my blogs, Facebook posts, or even just casual words in conversation may be viewed by those that haven't taken the proper amount of time to get to know why I think and feel the ways that I do...I hope this helps in the explanation:

Say What I Feel by Dwight James Allen aka Neo

I'm so sorry I cant be

everything each one of you

expect me to be

in my own skin im comfortable

and i am at home within myself

you may look at me & my actions

& even say that i need help

you may criticize what I say

you may fault the things i do

and I can only aplogize for one thing

and thats the niave nature within you

im honest with my emotions

and in touch with who I am

so when I feel a certain way I say it

i never try to hide the inner man

you can pass judgement off my words

and not agree with my ideas

but the honest reality is i have been

this way & will be for my remaining years

I say what some want to say or just

maybe wish that they could

I have the heart to be a standout

just as the rest of you should

life isnt about fitting in

we are all individuals in our own right

so dont get mad when you see me against

the system cause I was born to fight

I was raised to be different

to not gravitate towards the norm

I always stand by what I speak

& your thoughts will not change my form

this is not written out of anger

merely just my form of expression

take a look at me and understand beyond what you read

in my honest words and tactical aggression

bypass what you deem as negative

and listen to the word's inflection

dig deeper into the context & meaning

maybe change your narrow sense of direction

stop worrying about how you will be perceived

if you stand against public conception

so pay close attention, drop your guard

and lose your false sense of protection

because within my soul is a different kind of teacher

& you may just learn a valuable lesson

"I only say what I want you to hear, you'll only see what I want to show" - Joe Budden

Please Support My People!!!

This blog is just to shed some light on some of my peoples out there that are trying to make moves and I want to generate some traffic and attention to these brothers because they are all good dudes. So do me a favor, when you get a chance please visit their sites that I list and if you see or hear something you like please support, I myself (once I get some extra ends) will be supporting all of these dudes in my own way, along with promoting the goods once I actually receive them be it shirts or music. And if you like what they have to offer tell a friend to tell a friend...thank you

- The first place I need you to visit is Foe Company (http://foecompany.com/) which is headed up by a partner of mine that I went to high school with, great guy all the way around and highly artistic/creative. His site offers an array of tee shirts which feature his creative side & style and the newest shirts he will have out for the masses are in support for our Haitian brothers & sisters dealing with that tragedy with 100% proceeds going to the Red Cross relief funds for Haiti. My dude Rod has always aspired to be to this point ever since we were in graphic design class together and I am so happy and proud to see him get there.

- The next is for my dude out in Atlanta, my man Cam and his site Soul Simplicity (http://www.soulsimplicity.com/) which is a site that also sells clothing with the overall goal of bonding with the community through all of the varying outlets (clothing, music, & politics). He is a very good friend of mine as well and I believe he is going to take this places along with the help of our other good friend LA. I was around during the time when my dudes were just kind of going through the early stages of this movement and I always knew that it would get to this point because you had to see the drive in these brothers to really understand what I am trying to say.

- The next site is for my dudes Ashy L Bowz and their site No Lotion (http://nolotionnation.ning.com/). They are a hip hop group out of Brooklyn...and I must say these cats are a refreshing sound in the world on hip hop in my opinion. I met them through Twitter and just built a good relationship with the both of them because one they are crazy funny and two they are just real brothers & creative. Their zone is music and I think they have the ability to be the "NEXT THING". Check them out, they have a some good music out there (I have their albums so you can trust me) and you can now check them every Thursday on Elbow Radio, and stay tuned for their new album to be released on Ash Wednesday...told you these dudes were creative.

- The next site is one of my dudes by the name of Ant aka Mr. Infamy and his site InfamyTV (http://infamytv.ning.com/). I have heavy respect for this cat because he GETS IT...he is a hip hop artist in nature but he is the epitome of the hip hop culture. He is doing his part to bring hip hop into a good place by creating his website and having a lot of great unknown cats come together and use the site as a springboard for exposure and unity amongst artists while also promoting his own musical activities with his team "Da Hoodfellas". And he has the new Old School Hip Hop section which I myself have been a silent partner in, so go check the site.

So just slide through and check these sites out, as I said they are all making moves to not only better themselves but in a lot of way, better us all through a cultural standpoint. Yes they are friends of mine so yeah maybe my opinions on all these guys and their abilities is skewed but I just want to help them and get them out there to the people. They are all great friends but more so great ARTISTS....DUECES

What Really Grinds My Gears - Part 3 (Special Edition)

Here is the next installment of my Grinds My Gears series and this one is going to be done a little different as I will be posting some of the good ones that I got from some of my friends on Facebook including my wife Lakiesha. So here are the special guest entries into the Grinds My Gears series...and if you have any that you would like to add please feel free to hit me on Facebook and let me know:

From Carli aka Dayz:

- "Smacking when you're eating.. Seriously close ya damn trap!! puttn dirty clothes ona clean pile n vise versa, leaving dishes n the sink! Uhhh do u want bugs n germs growing in your kitchen?! lookin cute when ya kids r a mess, wearing name band everything n your kids n cartoon shoes.. Really ..."

From Eddie aka King:

- "i have a bunch but i hate when people wear open toed shoes with jacked up feet..."

- "I also hate when somebody calls me from a different room to get them something in the same room as them...irks my damn nerves...or when people call me on the phone and have conversations with everybody but me..immediate disconnect"

From Anette aka Biscuits:

- "over or under with the toilet paper flap. Over I say, dang it!"

- "Ok, this KILLS ME: you know how when you open a jar of body butter or hair grease or something like that? I spread it off in layers so it stay smooth and neat on top. I hate when ppl just dig all in the jar, scoop out half the product in it and leave deep gouges in it. HATE it."

From Kiesha aka Mrs. Allen:

- "When I go places I park farther than everyone else and if I can in an area where no one else has parked. I absolutely hate when I come out of the store to find that someone has parked their raggedy car RIGHT next to mine. I always stare in disbelief. A million spots to choose from many of them closer and yet you park in the spot next to me. All I ask is that you skip a spot. Irks me to no end."

- "Oh and another one (you opened up some flood gates lol) I hate when I'm on line and the person behind me stands so close it looks like we're together. If you're gonna stand that close at least take me out afterwards, I aint no cheap thrill lol. I don't know why I'm the only person who likes personal space. I have every intention on farting one day, right on someone's stomach."

- "when someone leave toast crumbs in the butter"

From Edgar aka Slim:

- "..all both of them..." Or when people are like, "put that over there.." and just point in two different directions. Or when people call me and the first thing they ask is, "are you sleep?" Yeah. I'm answering the phone in my sleep. Or when people don't clean the knife in between the peanut butter spreading, and the jelly spreading. And when people put the peanut butter in the fridge. ?????? Bread crumbs in/on the butter...

Apparently toast crumbs in the butter is not a good look for many of us so please work on that people...lmao, catch yall on part 5....DUECES

The Grammys Can Miss Me

I just wanted to take a second to express my displeasure with the Grammys as a whole...I will not be watching the Grammys again this year (I rarely ever do) because I do not like that they do not show the world and culture of hiphop any love whatsoever. I mean hip hop generates millions of dollars on an annual basis, it is in commercials left and right, used as a means to even aid in many world events such as voting and even as recently as a means to spread awareness of the disaster that has come to Haiti. Hip Hop isn't just "gangsta" music, or mutherfuck this and that all the time it bears messages, hope, strength, etc that needs to be heard by many. I remember Jay-Z made a comment during his interview with Oprah (beginning at around the 4:45 mark on the video below) that hip hop has done more for racial relations than pretty much anything and he says "it's difficult to teach racism because racism is taught in the home...so it's difficult to teach that when someone idolizes a Jay-Z or a Kanye West, you know it's difficult to say that that person is less than you or different from you when you can relate to their music or struggle or when you are a fan of their music". All I am saying is it isn't fair, hip hop artist work hard and deserved to be recognized for their efforts just like the next artist, they should be able to come and sit amongst their peers, and be able to win an award in a room full of other great artists. All it gets though is a commercial break where they flash across the screen that so and so won hiphop/R&B album of the year and thats just wrong on so many levels especially considering that the 1st actual commercial to follow will probably be a car or McDonalds commercial using hip hop to sell their product. To me its just another form of segregation and it bothers me to no end that it is like that. So like I said on Facebook I will not recognize the talents of the likes of Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Keith Urban, or anyone else until you recognize hip hop...so FUCK THE GRAMMYS!!!

PLUS....like my homie Prince aka my twin P just told me on Facebook which I forgot Drake is nominated for a Grammy off of a mixtape, I had totally forgot about that so good looks twin. But seriously come on Drake gets a Grammy nod for a mixtape, again I must say....FUCK THE GRAMMYS!!! You guys all just go ahead and enjoy and tune in just because Michael Jackson will be in 3-D doing the same stuff you been seeing for years, its just another way to capitalize on the man's passing, but I will not be joining in...I don't follow the herd of sheep...DUECES!!!

Name Change To "The Matrix Revealed"

(This is how I see the Matrix, how does it look to you???)

Someone asked me why the name change of the blog and I didn't explain it in full but I figure le me blog it up and im assuming that this person will read it so here goes. The reason for the name change was because I wanted to go with something that fit me a little better than "Reality Is My Only Option". The new name is more in tune with what I will be using my blogspot for and that is to hopefully write something that will open the readers eyes to something new, something they hadn't previously thought of, or even something that the world has tried to disguise or hide. The Matrix was a system of control and I feel like a lot of things in and around us are the exact same way from the media to even just word of mouth, these things guide many of our thoughts and ideas to shape the ways that they want us to think and not look at the picture as it is. I am not saying I am immune but a lot of things I see in a different way than others and I will use my blogs to shed a little light on the reality of things thus the name "The Matrix Revealed".....enjoy

This video explains exactly what I mean...please listen carefully:

Neo's Top 5 Albums of 2009

I wanted to make a little top 5 list for 5 of the best albums (in my opinion) from 2009, these aren't really in any particular order but the 1st 2 are actually both my favorite albums for 2009 and for varying reasons. I will add one of my favorite tracks from each album with each listing, hope you enjoy it and maybe even take my word and go out and actually buy these albums because they truthfully are well worth it.

Ready - Trey Songz

This album was nothing short of phenomenal...I honestly cannot say enough about this album. Trey not only brought a new image out for the ladies but he really is beginning to solidify himself as an R&B monster musically and when you have an album such as this it makes that possible. I would even venture as far to say that this is a "CLASSIC" yeah I said it, it is a classic, by far one of my favorite R&B albums. Songs like "Invented Sex"..."Yo Side Of The Bed" (which sounds like Purple Rain by Prince but a great rendition of it)..."Does He Do It"...& my personal fav "Love Lost" are just a few of the highlights. It does have one song I could do without and that is "LOL Smiley Face" with Gucci Mane, I understand why he did it but he didnt have too. Also if you get a chance check out the mixtape he dropped called "Anticipation" almost as good as the album, some may even say it was better.

The Blueprint 3 - Jay-Z

Well if you know me you know when it comes to Jay-Z fans you probably wont find many bigger than me which is why this selection meant so much to me. Again I will venture out to use that "CLASSIC" word, some may argue but whatever thats the beauty of music. This album was full of great music, lyrics, and too many highlights to even name, Hov had something for all types of fans on this one. He took it to a pureness with the music, and provided classic gems lyrically that only Hov could pull off such as my favorite line and that I deem as the overall theme and statement with this album "niggas want my old shit, BUY MY OLD ALBUMS", it gets no better than that. Beginning to end this is a great album and in my opinion was tied for #1 with Trey Songz, BP3 stays playing on my iPhone. Highlights include "Thank You"..."On To The Next One"...Empire State Of Mind"..."A Star Is Born"....& "Already Home". Jay did his thing with this album and its effect is monumental considering the way people feel about music nowadays especially his...but the King is still on the throne.

The Warm Up - J. Cole

This is a great album, excuse me...MIXTAPE and the only one that I would even consider putting on this list because of how it was executed, I mean for a mixtape to be this dope is unheard of thus it had to make the list. He is the 1st artist signed to Jay-Z's ROC Nation label and believe me when I tell you this dude is worth every bit of the attention he is beginning to garner out there in the hip hop community. Cole brings that breath of fresh air back into our speakers, minds, and hearts when it pertains to good ol hip hop and this mixtape (even though it is made like an album which further shows his skills) is good music. If you can get your hands on this I suggest you do so and then get back to me because I know you will tell me that this kid is the truth. He gives me that same feel I had back in 1995 when I 1st heard Jay-Z i swear to yall I got goosebumps listening to some of his bars. The music is soulful yet hard...lyrics are raw yet ahead of their time, in short this dude Cole has "IT". Bangers such as "Lights Please" (which was the song Hov heard and signed him after listening)..."Water Break Interlude"..."Dollar & A Dream Part 2"..."Dreams"...& "Welcome" are just a few of the highlights, trust me yall this kid is the NEXT big thing, mark my words and remember Neo told ya.

Slaughterhouse - Joe Budden, Royce Da 5'9, Joell Ortiz, Crooked I

The reason why this and the selection that will follow after this is because the albums were made as groups of individuals all capable of being good standing by themselves but they were either put together or came together to make very solid albums. This album is comprised of 4 outstanding MC's namely my #2 all time favorite MC, Joe Budden and its a great offering musically. Considering most of the true fans of these guys were able to watch them make this album online it was amazing how they were able to do it under the circumstances of distance and other obligations. Lyrically its almost an untouchable album with some of the best verbal lyricism heard in years, production was good as well...there are 1 or 2 that could be skipped or left off and they actually left off a favorite of mine "Wack MC's" (would have been a great addition) but overall it was a good album and worth your time if you are a true fan of hip hop. Album gems include "Microphone"..."Cuckoo"..."The One"..."Sound Off"...& "Cut You Loose". They will be dropping another Slaughterhouse album in the near future, so be prepared...THEY CALL THEM SLAUGHTERHOUSE FOR A REASON!!!

Forever In A Day - Day 26

Just like I said about the Slaughterhouse album this one was a outstanding album considering the dynamics of how it was made. Diddy put these 5 cats together and they made a great 2nd album after a pretty good 1st outing. Another one of those beginning to end albums that was solid throughout, and again we were able to pretty much see the making of this album on MTV and considering all they went through to just make it and the deadline that these young brothers faced they came across with a good effort. I don't know what the future holds for them as a group but this album will forever be in rotation with my R&B albums. Solid singing and effective management of the various voices and talents of each member it made for some great music. Some of the songs on the album that just jump out are "Perfectly Blind"..."So Good"..."Your Heels"..."Then There's You"...Babymaker"...& "Girlfriend" and trust me many of them before you listen you will need some condoms handy cause it may pop off.

***HONORABLE MENTION***

Street Hop - Royce Da 5'9

This was a great album from 2009 so it had to be my honorable mention joint. "Street Hop" was a good look on some real hip hop music and if not for Day 26 having such a solid album this for damn sure would have gotten that 5th spot. Royce dropped a bananas album and I have to give yall what is one of my favorite tracks from that album below. I wasn't a big fan of Royce's until he got down with Joe Budden and I wasn't that big on him throughout some of the Slaughterhouse early work but after listening to this I am a fan of the Detroit vet. Cuts like "Street Hop"..."Part Of Me"..."Murder"..."Far Away"...& "The Warriors (feat. the rest of Slaughterhouse)" are just a few of the great tracks on here.

That's all for now my people's, hope you enjoyed my selections....see yall next year with my 2010 top albums....DUECES

What Really Grinds My Gears - Part 2

Yall already know the routine so here goes...

- when you spend your whole morning shoveling out your parking space after a snow storm and some duck faced bastard parks in your spot when you leave...it's like come on dickhead you know I shoveled that spot out why would you park in it. All my peeps that have had to deal with those snow storms know all about this

- BITTER ASS PEOPLE...oh my damn they grind my gears more than anything, it's like why are you so bitter? You are mad angry at everything, if you got your heart broke or cant find someone to love you hate on others, if your friend gets something you dont show love you just hate on it, it's like come on yall WTF!!! i noticed this is a huge problem especially with women and lately with these dudes with a little vagina up in them...stop being bitter, work on changing yourself and maybe your stink ass situations in life will change and you wont have to be bitter, ol Colonel Stinkmeaner ass niggas. Talk to em and say shit like "you its mad nice outside son" and they respond with "man fuck the sunshine nigga"....hit em with "oh man love is a beautiful thing" and their response is "there is no such thing as love" well maybe not for you and your stink ass bitter beer face attitude.

- People that beep the horn behind you when you are sitting at a red light with a NO TURN ON RED sign, its like come on ock you want me to get a ticket because you are trying to hurry up and get to your minimum wage job putting down sawdust after some 9 year old throws up in the lunchroom...GTFOH and wait you schmuck!!!

- People that are afraid to be who they really are and put on masks...it's like if you have to hide your true self then you arent shit to me. To me it means that you are timid and afraid to be you because you are worried about public image. Me personally I could care less what anyone thinks about me, I am more than comfortable with myself. Be honest with yourself

- When someone dresses their kids like pure and utter trash yet they look like a million bucks....come on man your kids should be fresh to death all the time unless you are just broke then you all look like trash together.

- Assholes that beep their horns for people late at night, its like come on son I know everyone and their mother has a cell phone, call his goofy ass and tell him to come downstairs.

- Women that always run around talking about independent they are yet they are living with their parents and this doesnt apply across the board to all women because sometimes there are circumstances or you are saving up your loot to get your thing poppin but its for those extra-Beyonce (not a shot cuz I fucks with Bey) ass women that run around talking about they dont need a man and all that rah rah. How are you independent and you sleeping in the same room that you lost your 1st tooth in...im sorry but I have a problem with this. Get your own place, pay your own rent, have some bills in YOUR name that YOU actually pay for, take care of your own biz and then you can talk to me about your so called independence.

stay tuned for part 3, but until then.....DUECES

Vince Young is the TRUE 2009 Comeback Player Of The Year

Let me 1st start this blog off by saying that I don't just feel the ways you are about to read just because I am a Titans fan, it is solely based on being a fan of football and the NFL, now that we got that out the way let us begin. So Tom Brady wins the NFL's Comeback Player Of The Year award and I have to ask myself this simple question....WHY??? What did Tom Brady do any different this year from the year prior to him getting injured, I mean he basically won the award because he got hurt and came back this year and was the same Tom Brady we all expected him to be considering he is throwing to 2 of the best WR's in football...Welker & Moss. He beats out the 2nd place guy, Cadillac Williams, who we all know about his history and he hadn't really played football for about 2 years...and the 3rd place finisher which is my boy Vince Young, who as its been documented had a pretty rough 2008, rough to the point of where people questioned if he would ever take another meaningful snap for the Titans or in the NFL period (not me though I always believed in VY).

So here is my beef with it all, as I stated Brady did what Brady was "EXPECTED" to do while Young came in after the team started 0-6 and lead them to a 8-8 record by seasons end missing the playoffs by about a game or so which is remarkable in itself especially in the AFC, becoming the 1st team in NFL history to start a season 0-6 and then win its next 5 games, and also the 1st team in NFL history to begin a season at 0-6 and finish with a record of .500 or better. He lead an amazing comeback against Arizona on the final drive with a TD pas to Kenny Britt on the very last play of the game (see video below), helped Chris Johnson reach the 2,000 yard mark for the season (done only by 5 other RB's EVER!!!), improved his passing in all areas (completion %, yards per pass, & limited his ints), gave the Titans offense its best statistical year well in years, showed the NFL that the option (with the right QB & RB) can be run at the NFL level with success, but most importantly he brought the team back from the dead and provided a much needed spark. Along the way he regained the confidence from his team, coaches, fans, and even many in the media that bashed him unmercifully especially Merril Hoge (who even said VY was playing good ball as of late). So again I ask what did Brady do to warrant being the Comeback Player Of The Year? Brady has enough shit and I think that the Associated Press just is in love with the Pats as is most of the liberal media and thats the worst part to this whole thing, I mean as much as I would have hated it I would have rather seen Brett Favre win the award not Brady. But again I firmly believe that Vince Young should have won the award and I ask you to find many that wouldn't agree with me on that. He showed that he has grown, changed, adapted, and learned how to be an NFL quarterback...but what we saw out of Brady is the same exact thing you will see next year so what's the big deal about his season and why does he win over Vince Young, Cedric Benson (who also deserved it, I wouldn't even have been mad if he or Cadillac got it over Vince), & others? Please watch the video below then proceed to the last paragraph and leave a comment if you choose...

No matter what Vince Young is the Comeback Player Of The Year in my eyes and again I am not just saying this as a Titans fan but as a fan of football in general. I believe he has had to endure much more with his career and future on the line if he didn't play well, and that's not to say that coming back off of a pretty bad knee injury (Brady) didnt require dedication and many things endured but come on man remember last year at this time and the way the talk was about Vince Young...fast forward to this season and today and ask yourself, shouldn't he have won the Comeback Player Of The Year???

What Really Grinds My Gears - Part 1

I read an interesting post by my wife this morning on Facebook and was in tears laughing, and then some stuff happened at work and spawned me to release a few pet peeves of mine on Facebook throughout the morning/afternoon...well I have decided to move those I selected as well as a few more that I agreed with a friend of mine (Carli, who also inspired me to use that Grinds My Gear name for this a la Family Guy). I will probably do this from time to time when I come across things that people either do or say that really gets under my skin or (everyone say it with me) GRINDS MY GEARS!!!

- I hate when people ask me a question and then immediately answer it themselves as soon as they finish asking the damn question...YOU COULDN'T FIGURE OUT THE ANSWER PRIOR TO OPENING YOUR FUCKING LIPS TO ASK ME FUCK FACE!!!

- people that say "my work" or "his/her work" instead of "my job" or "his/her job", for instance...."Jim from MY WORK just got a new Nissan Maxima"....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT, i mean come on how hard is it to just say MY JOB, FUCK!!!

- when someone asks the question "are you sleep" this one is pretty self explanatory

- another retarded question when someone calls you "who is this"....look you hillbillie YOU CALLED ME!!! damn you just clicked on my name in the contacts of your phone or dialed my number so how the hell do you fix your dumb ass face to ask who is this, GTFOH!!!

- when someone tells me that Joe Budden is a one hit wonder, that couldnt be any further from the truth, maybe your feeble ass mind just cant comprehend good music or you are a Lil Wayne/Nicki Minaj fan again I say GTFOH!!! Budden has hits but in the words of my dude Jay-Z "do you listen to music or do you just skim through it"...a hit isnt just a commercially successful song, I mean think about this for a second, without a hit Joe Budden still has a great fan base and you can't say that about any other "SO CALLED" one hit wonders....so do me a favor and learn HOW to hear before you JUDGE.

- people that say Jay-Z is a part of the illuminati especially considering a majority of those same individuals have absolutely no idea what the illuminati is or represents. Stop believing the 1st thing you hear about someone just because you may not like them or what they do you sheep ass bastards. Read a book on the illuminati such as "The Illuminati - A Secret Society Revealed" or "Oracle Of The Illuminati - Contact, Co-Creation, Coincidence" (yeah surprised I know that huh), pin point specific things that would tie him to it and explain them to me when you get a chance....watching Tom Hanks in Angels & Demons doesn't give you the necessary backing to make such judgements & accusations so please open your hand and touch your face as fast & hard as you possibly can, thank you.

- this has been one that I have had to endure pretty much my whole life and I dont handle it well now but I hate when people say "light skinnedDID" and notice I put the end the way I did because thats what it sounds like...look nimrods that may say this please learn how to speak thats all!!!

- when I hear someone say "no your OTHER left"....man WTF is that!!!

To Be Continued.....